purpose.

“What’s my purpose?”

If you are anything like me, that question probably has popped into your head an absurd amount of times. We like to know if we have purpose, if what we are doing matters, and if WE matter. Then the question, “what’s my purpose” comes along, and it consumes our thoughts. We just want to know!!!

I struggle with this so often. I feel so idle at times. I feel like I waste time. I feel like what I do doesn’t matter. I even look at tasks at hand, like serving at church or through a ministry saying to myself, “Well they don’t need me, I’m not that big a deal. Besides, someone else could probably do it way better.” I yearn and search for this answer too much I think I actually waste time in the present to try to figure out my life. I pray and pray and get nothing…no answer. And for me, if I don’t have words of affirmation of a task at hand…I feel like a failure!

We’re always yearning, always searching for this answer.

God, what is my purpose? Am I doing what I’m suppose to be doing? What am I doing wrong that I feel this way? Does what I’m currently doing matter? 

Questions that we long for. We just want to know from our Father…do we have purpose? Yes? Well…what for?

We can look at people’s social media and think, wow they are doing amazing things. They are going on adventures. They are missionaries. They are changing lives.  Okay….first step, STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. That’s just lame. Second, you are NOT the person you are comparing yourself to, and you have a different role that even they can’t fulfill.

From my understanding and searching and thinking about “purpose” the last …….give or take 23 years of life, I think we make things more complicated than they seem. I believe we can have smaller purposeful moments in our lives that fulfill the “purpose-hole” in our heart. I can’t define these moments for you, but they don’t have to be moments that are like fireworks on the 4th of July. It can be meeting a stranger and praying for them. It can be self-sacrificing your sleep or time for a friend who needs you. It can be paying for a strangers coffee. The little things add up.

Honestly, what I think the big secret for fulfilling purpose is……

Love.

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

Matthew 22:37-39

The greatest commandment! Go love.

Self -sacrifice yourself.

Lay yourself down.

Get into people’s messes.

Go serve.

Do the “behind the scenes” work that impacts others.

I’m not against the grand adventures of life. I’m all about the adventures. But also, live in the ordinary. Everything you do,  flourish in it. Don’t worry about fulfilling purpose, for it is in the ordinary. It’s simple. Just go love.

And yes, I believe God reveals the cool things He wishes for you to do. They can be the grand adventures (whatever that looks like for you) or it can be an incredible small gesture of selflessness. Whatever it is, God is always listening and He knows we yearn for this answer. So stop being hard on yourself if you’re in a season of idleness or stillness and feeling like you not fulfilling your “purpose.” It’s okay. It’s the season you are in is full of purpose..just open you eyes!

Life story moment:

I got to live in my favorite place in the entire world last year for a few months. Knowing God has led me there and blessed me beyond imagine, I got into this rut early on by asking  “what’s my purpose?” Everyday stressing that I was missing something or I wasn’t doing something right….or anything at all. I stressed myself out way more than I should have trying to answer that question. There was one day I heard God in my heart saying: “just be still.” And so I tried doing that (so hard), but I found out God wanted me to be in a season of rest and growth. Growth as in growing as a leader, as a better servant, as a person to love people better. And I look back now knowing that I didn’t need to search and wear myself out by trying to answer that question, but to rest in God and see there was a bigger picture at hand. People changed my life when I lived there and I continue to look back at that experience and see purpose that I didn’t see in the present moment.

So take a moment to be still and look. The behind the scenes work that nobody sees = purpose. Taking time to sit still in the Lord’s presence = purpose. Taking time to be a Younglife (had to throw this in here…love you Younglife-er’s…THE BEST!!!) or youth group leader = purpose.Whether you’re in school like me or in the workplace = purpose.

Open your eyes. See where you can make a dent in the ordinary, see what God can do through you. Be patient, persevere and you might get an answer. You may be in the ordinary BUT you could find yourself in an extraordinary Esther situation: “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

You might run into something secretly incredible.

#isntshelovely

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