I have a confession to make:
I LOVE RUNNING! (I promise this post isn’t all about running)
Okay, probably most of you that know me know that already. Most people I talk to would disagree with me when I say something along the lines of how refreshing I think a 6 mile run is….and that’s okay. It is so freeing, so refreshing, so calming. Despite somedays when my legs feel like lead, or my lungs can’t keep up – I would choose those days over any. But with all things, there has to be road blocks right? I don’t understand it but I’m the most injury prone person I can think of when it comes to running, and that means taking off a lot of days during the year to rest, recharge and get back out there.
And right now, I’m in one of those seasons. I get really frustrated, especially at God. I get all sassy and ask Him: “WHY can’t I do one of the things I LOVE to do?!” But then I get over it because God is really good, and there’s no reason to complain over a silly thing like leg injuries. Because I KNOW God doesn’t want to see my brokenness, my hurting, and He wants nothing but good things for me! So who am I to point fingers at Him: He’s God, and I’m not.
ANYWAYS. In those seasons, I have to start from the bottom and from the beginning. It’s very humbling, especially when I take a lot of pride in running. I know injuries take time to heal, and they take work. It takes time to figure out the root of the problem. I’m not going to speak for all of us, but then I again…I’m just going to do: PATIENCE IS A REAL THING I PROMISE! I have none of it, and it honestly feels like a myth at times.
So during this spring, I have been trying to get back to running. Going slow, being cautious of preventing injuries, and taking any precautions. During one of my runs, it reminded me of the process of “uprooting yourself.”
I think I just made that up… but let me enlighten you. We as humans deal with garbage in life. It just happens. No matter who you run into, we’ve all dealt with things that have broken us, or are dealing with things that hurt us more than we’d like to admit. Sometimes it’s subtle, and you don’t realize how things in the past have shaped you until they spill out in some shape or form. For example: relationships. If someone has been broken by a relationship, been treated in a way that has hurt them, or anything else that has shaped their thoughts and views….I think the biggest way we retaliate from that is to stuff it in the back corners of their heart. I’ve been there. Then you don’t realize you haven’t dealt with and “brought to the surface” of those things that have hurt you, and it ends up coming out like an explosion (or something less dramatic) in a future relationship. It affects the person you’re with..and sometimes you don’t realize why you’re acting the way you do, until you realize from many many years ago, something happened and was planted within you that has grown deep roots
I’m a believer that when you don’t deal with something and bring it to the surface, it starts growing roots within you. The longer you go without wanting to bring it back up, the deeper it gets. Maybe you battle with trusting others because of how others let you down in the past. Or you’re short tempered because your parents were. Or you hate asking for help because you had to rely only on you to take care of yourself. Maybe it’s dealing with roots of shame, guilt, anger, etc. Whatever it is you’re dealing with, and once we figure out what’s going on, the longer we’ve gone without dealing with the brokenness of our past, the longer it takes to “uproot” those things that have shaped us to make us new.
Uprooting yourself TAKES TIME. There are things I have battled with that has taken days to figure out, and there are things I am figuring out about myself right now that is going to take longer to process through.
Quick subject change but it’s relevant. One of my favorite person in the bible is the apostle Peter. I feel like he is just a guy who’s 200% in all the time, bold, front of the line, having to put his foot in his mouth sometimes, jump out of the boat first, run to the tomb first kind of guy. If you know the Easter story pretty well, you know Peter denied knowing Jesus before His death. I can only imagine the guilt, the shame, the hurtfulness Peter went through after that. In my opinion, I believe Peter had to go through a process of uprooting those feelings and ridding of the past in order to become the man he was, the man that ran first to the tomb, the man first to preach at the Pentecost in Acts, and the man that told us to:
- rejoice in the struggles because that’s when the glory of God will appear (1 Peter 4:13)
- that after we have struggled – God will RESTORE and make us STRONG, FIRM, and STEADFAST (1 Peter 5:10)
- AND that our faith, which is of greater worth than gold, is being refined through fire resulting in praise, glory and honor when Jesus is revealed (1 Peter 1:7).
Can you imagine the process he had to go through to rid of those feelings and thoughts of the past to become the man we know of him now? He had to have gone through that refining process because if we are in Christ, we are living in FREEDOM. COMPLETE freedom. And there is NO ROOM for things of the past that leave sprinkles of guilt and shame.
So whatever you’re going through, or figuring out about yourself or even for future occurrences, these processes take time. It takes being steadfast. It takes TRUST that God is moving in your life and making all things good for His purpose (Romans 8:28). Spoiler alert: it hurts. It brings up things that you probably don’t want to face. The beauty of it is that you are never alone though!!! Take time to process what you need to through this process, and balance that time of bringing it before God – just you and Him, and also, it never hurts to ask for help (even if you’re stubborn like me, but having a community is super helpful in those times).
You are never alone. Be steadfast. Trust. Let’s dig up some roots for “we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3:2).